A Fragile Mind

So, for a long time there, my son was waking up about every hour, all night long. He was in obvious gas pain, and I was doing everything I could do prevent his getting so gassy. There were days that I would hardly eat, in hopes that he would sleep better at night. And when he woke up, sometimes I would have to hold his tummy for him (sometimes for almost an hour) to alleviate the pain.

Now you would think that at one of the 7 or 8 times I talked to health care professionals, (over the span of a couple of months) someone would realize that didn't sound normal. Oh, they would tell me to stop eating this or that (which I already had) and they would say to heat up a blanket in the dryer and wrap it around his tummy (which didn't work) and other advice like that. The last time that I talked to a doctor, hoping to get a referral to a pediatriciation, they told me that I had post-partum depression. Well, I guess so, since I hadn't slept for months, and nobody was trying to really find out what the problem was. (I was SO sick of hearing, oh, he'll grow out of it)

So, desperation led me to two actions. One was to wean John. I couldn't take the emotional stress of being depressed and having something leaching from me (that's how I felt about it). And the teeth were coming in, and it was just too much for my fragile state of being. Also, after much struggling with God, I came to the conclusion that I would need to take anti-depressants. Since starting the pills, I have been much better, but I think they only have a little to do with it. When I weaned John, he started to get better at night. He started to sleep for two hours at a time (which meant I was only getting up like 5 or 6 times a night!!) and he was able to settle himself if he woke himself up - which NEVER used to happen. So since he was no longer in such pain, he was able to start learning how to sleep.

Then, because I had started taking the pills, I had to check in with my doctor to see how everything was going. As we were talking about all the troubles we've been having, (and she was probably listening a little bit better because she realized just how bad things had gotten) she prescribed a medicine for reflux for John. Since starting that, he's only waking up when he's hungry (or when he pees out of the diaper, I still have to figure out what I'm going to do to prevent that) which is 2 or 3 times a night. Amazing!

So these days, life is good. My son naps well during the day, he goes to bed well when he's tired (with only a little help from me, which is getting less and less all the time), and he sleeps well at night! Praise the Lord! The biggest issue I have with the whole thing is that all the health care people realized that it was probably my breast milk that was causing the problem, but no one even remotely suggested that I wean him. I knew in the back of my mind that it would probably be the best thing, but seeing as how when women breastfeed, global warming is halted and baby whales are saved, it was hard to make the decision, especially since I had to decide it on my own, against the best advice of everyone I talked to. My Bible study group was so supportive, though, and for them, I am forever greatful.

Anyhow, I guess that sums up my trauma. I hope that someone somewhere who has been having similar problems will read this, since I felt like I was the only one during this whole time.

I'm back!

Well, it's been a ridiculously long time since I've written anything, and I can think of three really good reasons - 1. Facebook. I have been enticed into the world where you don't have to write anything, but you can still keep up with the other wonderful folks who have been sucked in. 2. Sick leave/maternity leave. I wasn't at work anymore, where I had the most convenient access to the internet since certain stupid internet companies couldn't figure out how to get a signal at my house 5 km down the road from their tower. 3. Baby. I had a baby. Who didn't/doesn't like to sleep. Sigh.

So the last long while has been crazy busy and exhausting. John was born on his due date (imagine that), and was beautiful! He didn't really sleep well from the beginning, and I remember spending the first week sleeping with him on the couch because he had tummy troubles (and Trent and worried about bringing him into our bed). I also remember that he wouldn't nap well unless someone was holding him. Sigh. For a brief period he slept in his swing because that was the only way that anyone would get any rest. So to summarize, the last eight months have been strength-sapping.

Finally, his nap times have settled, and he sleeps from one to two hours twice a day (usually one and a half hours). I've almost weaned him - he has one nursing feed left, in the morning - and his tummy troubles have finally settled. It's frustrating because I could have just weaned him earlier, but every time you talk to a health nurse, that's the one thing they don't suggest you do, even if it's best for everybody.

Anyhow, I should probably go, since John's sleeping and this is really the only time I have to be me again. Next blog - getting no sleep and the effects on your brain. Hopefully to come sometime in the next two weeks (I make no promises!)